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The Tale of the Very, Very Large Shed

A long time ago, when Dutch winters were cold and the King was ice skating on the Frysian natural ice, 4 Lugus elves were playing a card game in a very, very large shed. Outside, snow kept falling and set a cozy vibe to be snuggled up together in a very, very large shed.

As the snow fall intensified, the very, very large lounge was a perfect place to hide away from mother nature, and have a free coffee inside the very, very large lounge. Travelers from far and wide would come to this very, very large shed and would use this to hide from the snow storm. As the first travellers were approaching the shed, they could hear distant screaming. 'Pit sans!' they could hear echoing through the walls.

"Wait, you had the ace?!" screamed the least important Lugus elf, slamming down his cards. Elf Brammus shook his head. "Every single time, you fall for that," he muttered, taking another sip from his chouffe. Willemus was counting his winnings and said to Lodus ‘great up-bid my friend!’ when Koenus suddenly looked up, alarmed. "Did you hear that?"

Outside, the wind was howling fiercer than ever. But through the storm, they could hear something else… voices, footsteps, and what sounded like... complaining?

The door swung open with a dramatic BANG, and Koenus jumped up in surprise, scattering cards everywhere. Hurrying to the door, Koenus welcomed the first guests in the very, very large shed. 'Welcome, please come inside and close the door! We weren't born in a church!', elf Willemus shouted from the table, already gathering up the cards for the next round.

The first traveler hurried inside, brushing snow from their shoulders: 'Wow, we are the first ones here! That makes sense, we always start on time with all our duties', Mariius exclaimed proudly! Her fellow travel companions shortly followed, with Marijnus, Jesperus, Loiyus and Silvus heading straight for the warmth-providing radiator. 'Oof, that's the stuff!', Loiyus said, pressing himself against it like a frozen pancake to a hot pan. "Move over, you're hogging all the heat!" Silvus protested, trying to squeeze in.

Lugus elf Brammus let out a sigh of relief. He was very content that the travellers liked the very, very large shed. "See? I told you guys we should keep the radiator on!" he said smugly. Before he could finish being content however, a loud knock echoed through the very, very large shed.

The door burst open and let in a breeze of cold winter air, along with six figures covered head to toe in snow. 'Brammus, you are here!', it sounded. Confused, Brammus turned around and saw his dear friends. 'Jannus, Sebbus, Joaquinus, Albus, Emmanius, Deius, what are you doing here!?' Brammus said, surprised.

'We just came back from Christmas ball throwing and could use a warm coffee!' Jannus replied, still holding a large heavy muddy Christmas ball. "And possibly a first aid kit," Sebbus added, pointing to Albus who had somehow gotten some of the christmas balls tangled in his hair. "We may have gotten a bit... competitive."

Before Brammus could even reply to Jannus, a whole other group of travelers stumbled in, arguing loudly amongst themselves. Brammus instantly recognized them. 'Yoranus, Lizius, Conztansius, Milus, Rarus, Mikelius, Nikitus, aren't you supposed to be preparing the Christmas dinner!?' Brammus said in fear.

'Don't worry, we got it all under control. The menu for our christmas dinner is so great, everything has already been set up.' Yoranus said confidently, though there was a suspicious smell of burnt something coming from his coat.

Lizius looked around the very, very large shed with wide eyes. 'Wait a minute, would it not be possible to let all the guests come to this very, very large shed? There is like a 100m2 of space? Why are we hosting dinner in that tiny restaurant when we have THIS?'

Brammus paused, looking around. The shed WAS very, very large. And there WAS enough room before it would get quite crowded. He agreed; 'send out the invite, everybody is welcome in our very, very large lounge! This is officially the new Christmas dinner location!'

The second Brammus uttered these words, as if summoned by the Christmas spirits themselves, a blue and bruised companionship stumbled through the door, looking like they'd lost a fight with a rainbow. 'W-we have been shot by paintballs… need… hot chocolate… we need a chouffe… please..', they gasped.

Elf Willemus was concerned by this and hurried to the door, abandoning his winning hand. 'Is everyone okay?!' he said with a trembling voice, looking at the rainbow of paint splattered across their clothes.

'We can not tell you too much, we need to finish our pre-ski trip activity, just let us be' Irius and Martinus snapped, already making a beeline for the chouffe bar. "Though maybe," Irius added quietly, "skip the paintball event for next year's trip?"

'Okay, don't worry, everyone is always welcome, please come into our very, very large lounge.' Willemus said, while he moved to close the door. Before he could do so, three men stumbled in, looking particularly dejected, dragging their empty backpacks behind them.

'Olivierus, Tommus, Jasperus, what are you doing here? I thought you guys were abroad?' elf Lodus said from across the room, looking up from where he'd been trying to fix the eternally broken coffee machine.

'We are not able to find places to stay, we canceled our trip…' Olivierus said with a sad look on his face, staring at the ground.

'Ah poor boys', Lodus replied sympathetically, 'it is okay, grab a chouffe, even failures are welcome in our very, very large lounge'. He patted Olivierus on the shoulder.

'You can not find any places to stay abroad? You want us to help you out?' it sounded from outside, followed by the crunching of snow under many feet. Minkus and her crew of little elves walked in, looking far too organized and prepared compared to everyone else. 'We are going to Sweden AND Greece, maybe we could give you some contacts?' Mafaldus said smugly, pulling out what appeared to be a color-coded spreadsheet. Lukus, Philipus, Annus, Arthurus and Nihalus nodded approvingly, each holding their own perfectly organized travel documents.

Oliverus, Tommus and Jasperus stayed quiet with mean looks on their faces, and headed towards the chouffe bar. The jealousy was palpable. Tommus, in his frustration, spontaneously started pulling a liter of chouffe with aggressive determination, spilling everything and giving himself a fitting chouffe foam beard. "THIS IS FINE," he announced to no one in particular, foam dripping from his chin.

Lodus quickly closed the door behind them, trying to prevent any more cold air from entering. 'I am glad everyone is finally here, in our very very large lounge!', he announced.

But the universe had other plans.

The collection of elves from different walks of life all sat down and started conversation. The card game had been abandoned in favor of louder, more chaotic discussions. Lodus looked outside, happy with the traffic in the very very large shed. The radiator crew was still fighting for position. The Christmas dinner committee was debating whether they could actually move the entire meal here. The paintball victims were comparing bruises like war medals. Lodus looked outside and saw the beautiful snowflakes stick to the window.

Suddenly, 5 pairs of eyes appeared behind the window, like a scene from a horror movie.

'Wait, are we too late? We just came from Eindhoven!', Maximus exclaimed, his voice muffled through the glass. 'The door is locked and it is cold, please let us in!'.

"The door's not locked!" Koenus called back.

"Oh." There was a pause. 

Koenus hurried himself to the door and let in Maximus, Matsus, Jochemus, Carolus and Jasonus. All 5 of the elves were wearing weird white shoes with blue letters. They seemed very warm, and oddly proud of their footwear.

"Nice shoes," Lodus said, raising an eyebrow.

"They're limited edition!" Maximus protested.

And so the very, very large shed was full. Every corner was occupied. The radiator had at least 10 people pressed against it. The chouffe bar was doing record business. The card game had evolved into several card games, a heated Trackmania and table tennis tournament had broken out in one corner, and someone had started a darts competition using Christmas ornaments.

Lodus stood on a chair and called out: "Welcome, everyone, to the first annual Very, Very Large Shed Christmas Gathering!"

Everybody applauded and yelled

Mariius and her crew were teaching Willemus the importance of punctuality (he was ignoring them). Jannus was showing Irius his battle scars from the Christmas ball throwing, while Irius showed off his paintball wounds - they decided paintballs were worse. Yoranus had successfully convinced everyone that the dinner would, in fact, be good, despite the burnt smell. Lizius was already sketching floor plans for next year's dinner in the shed.

Olivierus, having consumed several chouffes, had forgiven Minkus and her crew, and they were all gathered around Philipus's color-coded spreadsheet, genuinely impressed by the organization. "I mean, I'm still mad we didn't book anything," Olivierus admitted, "but this IS impressive."

Tommus, still sporting his chouffe foam beard, had become something of a legend. "It's my look now," he declared. "I'm committing to it."

The Eindhoven crew had found kindred spirits in Silvus and Loiyus, and they were all warming their weird shoes by the radiator, discussing the merits of limited edition footwear with the seriousness of a UN summit.

Outside, the snow continued to fall, but inside the very, very large shed, it was warm. The broken coffee machine had somehow fixed itself (or someone had just turned it off and on again). The chouffes were flowing. The laughter was loud. The card games were competitive. The Christmas spirit was alive and well.

Lodus looked around at the chaos, the warmth, the friendship, and smiled. "This," he said to no one in particular, "this is what Christmas is about. A very, very large shed, too many people, questionable life choices, and unlimited chouffe."

Lodus raised his glass. "To the very, very large lounge!"

And so, as the snow fell outside and the King kept skating on the Frysian ice, the Lugus elves celebrated Christmas in the only way they knew how - together, chaotic, and in a very, very large shed.

Merry Christmas from everyone in the Very, Very Large Lounge!