Lugus Christmas Story
‘T was a cold winters day when Ilsus visited a wonderful shed called ‘The Lugus Lounge’. She had traveled all the way to the mythical land of Zernidise to eat some avocado toast. She was about to finish her toast when angel Susannus appeared out of the sky, she was eager to take some snacks from the Lugus Lounge but had to keep to her mission. She came bearing some news. ‘Ilsus’ she said, ‘I have been sent by the rietadtgods to deliver you some news’. Angel Susannus told Ilsus ‘Quit your job at Nestoria Supportia, you will bear the child of the rietadt gods. This child will restore peace among all and finally end the lockdown for the whole kingdom of TBV Lugius you must call him baby Jeenzus Veenstrus.’’
‘What! This is not possible’ said Ilsus. She and her husband Oscarsius had namely never pulled a full ‘rela adt’ together, how could she be pregnant?! She was confused but honored to bear this child that would save us all. ‘How will Jeenzus save us?’ she asked the angel, who answered that Jeenzus will defeat all evil and bring peace to the people by pulling 1.3 liters at Intro day. Immediately she called upon her trusty steed ‘Rudy the racepig’ and raced all the way to the dangerous village of Twente. Here she found her Oscarsius playing a game of Klonkibal with Schoebius, Slosserius, Bjarnius, and Molinus.
Klonkibal is a religious game for all tukkers, the group gathered annually to drink as much Klok as possible. After Schoebius hit the target with a can of Schultenbrau, Ilsus and Rudy interrupted the game to deliver the news. She called his name ‘Oscarsius, Oscarsius!’, ‘I will be bearing the child of god, I must call him Jeenzus’. Oscarsius finished his can of Klok and said ‘That’s great honey, but have you heard of Career Services yet?’ After all of the tukkers scanned the QR-code Oscarsius presented them, Ilsus and Oscarsius called Rudy the racepig, fed him some Klok, and left Twente.
During their travels back to the beautiful village of Groningen, they ran into the famous ESTIEM Committee who were traveling on their sled from their trip to the snowy town of Hamburg. Here, they had time for some nice committee bonding and earn points for the Lugus Competition. Allegria and Didia had never been so hungover in their life due to all of the green Lugus shots they took for the Lugus Competition. Brazilius even threw up when the sled abruptly came to a halt.
Doria Abmia has skied in front of the sled! Behind her followed Edus Bossus on his ice skates. He delivered the following message. ‘Emperor Marleenia Sissingia orders all Lugians to travel to the place where the last EBT would have taken place’. The emperor was sad no one had the chance to experience what could have been an amazing trip, and wanted this to happen before she left the small town of Groningen. Demetrus and Rolandius were shocked by this news, how could they travel al the way to Sint Petersburg, where there is no student OV!
Soon, all Lugians began to make their way towards the cold mountains of Sint Petersburg to follow the emperor's orders. Pieterus from the Sandus finished his game of Fifa and called up the rest of the Introcie and told them the news. Karlius immediately prepared chef’s quality meals for the entire trip, while his right hand, Ducius cut all of the bell peppers, so nobody would have to get hungry!
The trip was long and tiring, and Rudy had to stop every 5 minutes due to his poor fitness. Ilsus and Oscarsius were only in Nieuwe Pekela after an entire day of traveling, how would they ever make it!? Just as they were about to give up, Timothus Sockmaker parked his helicopter next to the lost couple and offered them a ride, only if they would pull a rietadt. Ilsus was hesitant due to her pregnancy, but Timothus told her that it would only make Jeenzus stronger. So they pulled a collectief!
When the couple was halfway there, Ilsus started screaming ‘Oscarsius, my water broke!’ Timothus had to make an emergency landing and offered them a goodbye riedadt. Oscarsius then had to find a place to stay, he knocked on the first house he saw. Sandrius & Michius Sappius opened the door, they ran a family hotel but could unfortunately not receive the couple because all beds were taken by the all of different committees they do. The Almanac, PRcie, and TaSC were not happy about the commotion outside. Lucias Barthesagius shouted ‘Ai, Silencio!’, Judia Oebia said ‘I have to call 20 companies this week, be quiet!’, and Jipia Cornerman shouted from her window ‘Please be quiet, I have 10 deadlines this week and 2 committees to run, I need my sleep!’, so Ilsus and Oscarsius went on their way.
Next, they went to a shed with big, bright LED- lights, it looked like there was a party going on. They knocked on the door and Maxius Monestaryman opened it, he offered them some wine and asked Annia and Inesus what to do with these strangers. Unfortunately, they could not stay at their shed, because they had an important workshop to prepare.
As Ilsus and Oscarsius moved on, they found a small farm, Ilsus could not stop it any longer and had to give birth there! Here, Jan-Cowe, Sheap Beauk, and Donkeyta de Ruiter were busy with their CIT project but greeted them with a warm welcome. Then suddenly, as Ilsus was giving birth, the whole farm lit up from the bright lights of the riedadtgods. The angel Susannius came back to Earth and delivered the news that baby Jeenzus had been born!
Lugians from all around the globe came to visit this special child, the one who would end the lockdowns and bring womibos back to campus. Even the three kings, who were waiting in Sint Petersburg came to meet baby Jeenzus. Tjarkius, Irenia, and Larsius Wiersmius made it to the child and gave him their blessing to pull his first liter.
Hereafter, the entire land celebrated with the Lugus Christmas Dinner ate their stomachs full and drank wine until they couldn’t stand it anymore. They all lived happily ever after!